After the Camera Fades
by fanofthearts
Summary: 'What happened after the camera fades' New chapter! After Burning Down the House. Rizzles Please R and R.
1. Complicated

Disclaimer: After this week's episode (My Own Worst Enemy) I had to write SOMETHING. I don't own anything

A/N: This in itself is a one shot but I might add a chapter for every episode. It's kind of a 'what happened after the camera faded?' look. If you like it let me know whether I should do one for next week's ep.

A/N2: Only edited by yours truly, no beta.

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With shaky hands Maura poured herself another glass of sherry. She looked around her home, it seemed empty without Ian. She let out a bark of laughter; he was only there for two days. Maura hated that she felt like this, whenever he came blowing into her life it was like she was on heroin, everything was so wonderful and she felt like she could do anything. But each time it ended the same way: he always left and Maura crashed and burned. Like a junky in withdrawal she moped around for weeks, the pain so bad it was hard for her to get out of bed. She tossed back the small shot of amber liquid; it was a drink meant to be sipped and her throat protested. She gagged, her eyes burned and more tears spilled from them.

"Damn it." She hoarsed and above her she heard the water shut off, Jane had finished her shower. Shutting off the kitchen light she trudged upstairs. She wasn't surprised to see her friend tonight; the way they had left things at work did not sit well with Maura. When she confronted Ian with what Jane had found and he quickly packed his things and left. She sat motionless in the living room once the door clicked shut behind him. Maura felt that she should be mad at Jane for what she had done but in a way it was a blessing, Ian was going to leave sooner or later.

She walked into the bedroom stripping her clothes off as she stepped into the closet for her pajamas. She winched seeing her boxes of shoes out of order. Why did she agree to let Angela 'organize' for her again? Returning to her room she crawled under the covers, too depressed to even brush her teeth. She looked up as the adjoined bathroom door opened and Jane stepped out. She had on one of Maura's old BCU t-shirts and nothing else. Wordlessly she crawled into the bed next to Maura, turning the lamp off as she rolled onto her back. For a while they were silent, just listing to each other breathe.

Maura turned her head and looked at Jane's strong profile. She smiled; Jane had no idea how beautiful she was. Looking back up at the ceiling she chewed on her bottom lip, she felt bad for keeping Jane at arm's length these past two days, it made her feel guilty.

Slowly she started, "I met Ian in France; we were assigned to Ethiopia together." Her voice was rough almost as hoarse as Jane's. She winched and cleared her throat, "I-" She took a shuttering breath. "It's hard for me to talk about him because he reminds me of a time of my life I don't like to dwell on." She risked a glance at Jane again; she could tell by her breathing that she was still awake. "That year was one of the best and one of the worst of my life. You cannot imagine the things we saw and did Jane, the poverty, the helplessness of those people, but we also made a difference. The country was not in a declared war when we were there but there was violence, food shortages, AIDS, rape…. Women-women over there are not treated as human, they are property. The things I did-what I treated there, I was going to lose it. We went five days without water and food, five days without any kind of modern anything before the supplies arrived. Ian kept me sane, without him I wouldn't have made it. Even once the shipment came in, it wasn't much.

"Finally the year was up, I was so excited. I was coming back to the states and I had assumed that Ian was coming with me. I figured he felt what I felt. I knew I found that man I would marry." She felt Jane shift towards her, a rough hand reaching out to lie on her hip. She bit back the tears, "But he had asked to stay in Africa for another year. He said we were making a difference and he could not leave that, he couldn't leave those people there to suffer alone. He couldn't understand why I didn't want to stay." She paused, "I could have stayed, I should have but I was too selfish. I could not stand to see another child lose its mother to AIDS, another young girl raped and pregnant, another starving child die. I couldn't I couldn't…" Maura's voice stopped when the sobs got too strong. She felt Jane pull her close.

"It's okay Maura. I'm so sorry, I had no idea." Jane knew Maura did the Doctors without Borders thing but she had no idea what her friend had seen. Trying to picture Maura out in the elements in Africa was almost comical. But hearing her talk, witnessing her cry made Jane's already high opinion of her best friend grow immensely.

"Do, do you understand? I can't go back there and he can't leave there; I-I why can't I just quit feeling what I feel for him? Why do I keep letting him back in, I know he will leave."

"Shhh," Jane ran her hands down Maura's back, "Because you love him." The words sounded foreign in her mouth and she cringed.

"I gave him an ultimatum, me or Africa and he chose Africa he always will. I hate it!" She pulled back from Jane and sat up leaning against the head board scrubbing her hands on her face. "I'm sorry Jane. I just, it is easier for me to just bury Africa and Ian. I know it is not healthy but it is the only way I know how to move on. After his visits- well, you can see I'm a mess."

Jane's heart broke for her friend, watching Maura cry was one of the saddest things Jane had ever seen in her life. She gently put her hand on Maura's shoulder, Jane scooted back down in bed, "Come on, lay back down." She pulled Maura back into her side. Maura complied resting her head on Jane's shoulder. "Tomorrow things will look a lot better, I promise."

Maura let out a shaky breath, "I don't know, I'm typically a mess for about fifteen days Jane."

The brunette felt a smile tug on her lips, "Sure they will, tomorrow is Saturday. How about you and I go down to market? Just the two of us? We can get breakfast at a café and go shopping."

"Really?" Maura's voice brightened, "You'll go shopping with me?"

Jane nodded, "Anywhere you want to go."

"Newberry Street?"

Jane cringed, "Even Newberry Street. Right now just sleep, tomorrow will be fun and things will look a lot better." She felt Maura relax against her. She rolled her eyes, Newberry Street? She felt her toe begin to thump just at the thought.

End

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	2. Father

Disclaimer: Don't own

A/N: Thank you to my dear reviewers! Really they make my day. Remember I'm the only one proofing these.

A/N 2: Soooo this past ep wasn't exactly what I thought/wanted it to be. It did not make me rush to my computer but it was a good subtext filled eppy. I think I will try to keep doing these short little follow ups. I am sadly back in college now so life is going to get in the way. One episode left till fall break for R&I, what are we going to do with ourselves?

So here is the next installment of "After the Camera Fades" *cue the soap opera music* If you read it review it! The reviews inspire as much as the show does.

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It had taken Jane and Maura a good hour to chase everyone out. Tommy had gotten the hint once Maura began putting the chess pieces back into their case and cleaning up the table, Angela had taken longer. Jane knew her mother could sense something was off, she lingered over a cup of hot chocolate and then again in the doorway. When the door finally clicked shut Maura let her head fall back. "Thank God!" She muttered running her fingers over her brow massaging lightly. "I thought they would never leave."

Jane stood suddenly feeling like she had worn out her welcome, "Sorry," She glanced down at her watch seeing it was going on 11, "I should get going too."

"Oh no!" Maura reached her hand out to capture Jane's wrist, "Not you. It's just…I don't see you as company." Maura blushed as the words left her mouth. She looked up at Jane and saw the sweet smile on her lips; she shrugged her shoulders "Can I stay at your place to night? After everything, I just…" She trailed off her eyes going to the battered back door.

"You don't even have to ask."

Maura stood, turning off the kitchen light and grabbed her gym bag that was laying by the door, a glance at Bass's dishes showed that he had enough food and water to last him the night.

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The ride to Jane's was quiet. Maura kept playing the phone conversation with her father over and over in her head. Her father, did she consider him that? The man she had always called her father, the one she always looked up to was a closed off man, but compared to her mother he was warm. She always admired him and had wanted to be just like him. He was so handsome, with dark black hair and piercing blue eyes. More than once when she was in her teens and even early 20's when it was just them strangers assumed they were husband and wife. Maura looked very old for her age and was the polar opposite of him in looks. She thought about her biological father, she had his features she could tell that, his mouth, his hair…She shook her head when she heard the car cut off. Looking up at Jane's apartment she smiled, even though it was small and not decorated as tastefully as she would have liked it had a homey feeling that her house didn't quite have. She was becoming to realize that it wasn't the things it the house that made it a home, it was the people.

Jane locked the door behind them and shed her jacket and her gun. She looked over at Maura watching her slip off her flats and leather coat. She was worried, her friend had been very quiet on the way to her apartment and that was not like Maura at all. "You can have the bathroom first." She offered unclipping her badge from her belt.

"Thank you." Maura whispered and headed towards Jane's bedroom. Watching her round the corner Jane pulled out her cell phone. Looking at her recent calls she stared at the "caller blocked" screen and sighed. Maura had been so scared after Doyle left; Jane had locked up the house the best she could. Both knew the chances of Doyle and his men coming back were slim but Maura was still shaken. Jane ran Maura a bath but when Jane went to leave the room the blonde had begged her to stay. So Jane sat, leaning up against the tub talking about anything but the case they were working on. It seemed to help, Maura's demeanor mellowed and as soon as they got into bed she drifted to sleep clutching Jane's hand.

When Jane entered the bedroom Maura was perched on the edge of the bed moisturizing her arms. Jane smiled at the sight; she grabbed an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts and disappeared into the bathroom. "Dr. Pike won't be back next week will he?" She called through the partially closed door.

"No, I told him his services were no longer needed at headquarters."

Jane rejoined her in the bedroom laying down and staring up at the ceiling. "I'm sure he will be disappointed."

Maura smiled shutting off the lamp next to the bed, "It did feel good to finally boss him around."

"You should, like you said you are his boss." Maura chuckled. They laid in the silence for a few minutes. "It was weird, seeing you like that."

Maura turned on her side to look at her friend, "How so?"

Jane shrugged rubbing at her palms, "I don't know, all in charge. I guess I forget that you are the chief medical examiner for the greater Boston area. It's powerful, it's so…un you."

Maura was quiet, staring off into space, "I'm just me Jane." She whispered in a small voice.

Jane sat half way up alarmed at the sound of her friend's voice, "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant."

The blonde nodded, "I know." She bit her lip, fighting back tears. "It's just- some days are hard"

Jane lay back down and took Maura's right hand in hers. Her fingers gently traced the chafe marks left on her wrist by the binds that held Maura while she was tied in the chair. She felt her blood pressure increase and mentally told herself to calm down. The thought of anyone hurting Maura, touching her, threatening her made the brunettes blood run hot, "I will you know."

"What?" Maura whispered back her eyes heavy with sleep.

"Take care of you." The blonde smiled and gently squeezed Jane's hand, linking their fingers together.

"I know."

TBC?

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	3. Remember

Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly. I don't even own the dream Maura has. If they were mine they would be dating.

A/N: I am just assuming Maura's legs were tied, why else would she have not run to Jane's aid like Jane did when Hoyt cut Maura's throat? I wasn't a huge fan of this episode, it had some great subby moments but TPTB could have really run with a cool episode arch with this one. *sigh*

A/N2: Thank you to my wonderful reviewers. You guys inspire me to push through writers block. This is not betaed by anyone but me. Thank you to Potnia Theron who mentioned my story on her Tumblr, it made my day.

Last little note, some of you may pick up on Maura's dream, quite honestly I think RandI is just one big ol' Xena Uber come to life. I kinda tried to play on that here. I doubt this will become a crossover story but the throat slitting scenes reminded me so much of Ides of March that I slipped it in. Don't know what an uber is? Go ½ way down the page here (minus the spaces): http:/ whoosh. org/issue25 /lunacy1 .html

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It had been a full week since that bastard reentered their lives. It felt like a dream, but Maura had the physical scars to prove that it was real. He was dead; finally Jane could sleep in peace. The blonde let out a choked laugh, peace? Jane's and her lives were anything but peaceful right now. She ran a brush through her freshly dried hair and picked up the jar of cold cream to remove her make-up.

She thought back to that day, six hours after Hoyt had attacked them she finally left Jane's side. As soon as Frost cut Maura's binds she staggered over to Jane, who pulled back from Korsak and collapsed into her arms almost taking them both down. Once she got herself under control Jane's wall went back up, she closed herself off and became Detective Rizzoli, short answered and short tempered. Both had been taken to the hospital, against Jane's wishes of course, to be checked out. Maura received 8 stitches to hold the cut at her neck together, and it had taken a good four solid hours for the buzzing in her ears to stop. Still, after everything that had happened Angela insisted on having a party for Jane. The 'surprise' party didn't last long, maybe if she were to guess two hours tops. Most of the cops at the apartment began to clear out early knowing what kind of day the birthday girl had had. Maura was weary to the bone and she knew Jane felt the same. Maura was getting ready to follow Mrs. Rizzoli home when Jane's hand caught her elbow.

"Stay?"

One word was all it took. Maura understood, she didn't want to be alone either. Neither spoke about the incident. Maura had got a glass of wine for herself and a beer for Jane before flipping on the history channel. Both lay in Jane's bed watching American Pickers until their eyes finally fell shut. Maura had woken up gasping a few hours later, startling Jane awake. No words were said as the side table lamp was turned on and they just sat, both staring at the TV till the alarm went off at five and Maura headed home.

Staring at her reflection in the mirror Maura shook her head. She had darkening of the periorbital, she knew she needed sleep but the same dream always woke her. Shaking her head at her reflection she shut out the light and headed for bed.

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_The binds were tight, she could feel them biting into her skin as her hands strained against the plastic tie, her feet had all but gone numb. She watched helplessly telling herself to look away but she could not. Her eyes met Jane's, trying desperately to convey everything she felt into one last look. Suddenly Hoyt was coming towards her with the tazer, she froze. She felt her breath come in gasps. This would be it, she wanted to vomit. This was not how it was suppose to end. Not like this. "No, no, no no!" She looked over and saw Jane's eyes, she saw the desperation there and she felt guilt. She would not be able to save Jane, she should have done SOMETHING. Along with the guilt she felt a sense relief wash over her, she would not have to watch her friend be raped and cut to pieces. Suddenly her body seezed, the feeling reminded her of when she was a child jumping into the cold pool right after getting out of her parent's hot tub, it stold her breath. Suddenly the fuzzy white ceiling she was staring at gave way and she saw snow, big brilliant white flakes that flickered in torch light. She was shaking, her hands and her back ached, and rough wood was cutting into her. She was freezing; her feet numb and her fingers broken. She looked to her right and saw Jane, or she thought it was Jane. She had the most beautiful look on her face. She tried to pull her eyes away to look at the figure looming above her but she couldn't. Jane's eyes were calling to her, telling her she was going to be alright, that she loved her…_

Maura gasped, sitting bolt upright in bed. She looked around; the room and bed were bathed in moonlight that was shining through the second floor window. She held her breath and listened, hearing the sound of her grandfather clock ticking gently in the distance. Glancing at her alarm clock she realized was it was 3:10 am. Releasing her breath in a sob she scrubbed her face with her hands, "Damn it." She cursed. Swinging her legs over the bed she found her house shoes. Forgoing clothes she reached for her robe and padded down stairs.

The streets of Boston were deserted; it took her less than fifteen minutes to get from Beacon Hill to the outskirts of Little Italy. She parked her car and used the key Jane had given her three years before. The remains of the party were still strewn around the apartment, a deflating horse balloon glimmering in the moonlight almost made the blonde lose control of her bladder. Putting her hand to her chest to steady herself Maura quietly shut the door behind her and turned when she heard the scrambling of feet. She scooped up Joe Friday and shuffled into the bedroom. In the nightlight lit room Maura could easily make out Jane's figure. She was standing in front of the window looking down at the street. "Hey."

"Hi." Maura whispered afraid to let her voice shatter the silence. She put the dog on the bed and removed her rode. "I-I had a nightmare again."

Jane nodded finally facing her friend, there were large dark circles under her eyes and her hair was slightly damp with sweat. She sat down heavily on the bed. "I haven't slept yet."

Maura nodded staring at the black screen of the TV hanging on the wall. Her fingers went to the white bandage on her neck; she fingered it and then mentally cursed herself. She was fidgeting she hated fidgeting. The eight stitches in her neck itched; she knew the skin and the blood under were coagulating. She looked over at Jane; she had butterfly bandages on her forehead and a small white band aid on her neck. Hoyt had cut Maura deeper. She was sure he would have let her bleed out while he finished Jane off. She shuttered, she would never forget the feeling of the scalpel sliding into her skin. Maura pulled the comforter and the sheet back and slid underneath Jane followed suit. Jo turned two circles at the bottom of the bed before plopping down. Maura smiled at the little dog. Jane picked up the remote and flicked on the TV, the sounds of the weather channel filled the room. "Poor idiots are still live at 3:30 in the morning."

Maura propped herself into a sitting position and looked at Jane. She watched the brunette chew on her lower lip, "Do you remember when we first met?"

Jane frowned at looked over at Maura, "That's an odd question."

Maura shrugged, "We were formally introduced when I was taken around the building you were the only female in homicide then."

Jane nodded. She remembered being intimidated by the medical examiner. She had been working so hard at being one of the guys; she didn't need another woman, even if she was in a different department encroaching on her territory. The Dr. Isles she first remembered wore expensive suits and didn't talk much to anyone, and when she did it her voice said words that were made everyone frown. Did she speak that way to belittle those around her? Jane stayed away. She made Korsak go down the morgue to deal with the new doc. Six months later, after Hoyt had pinned her to the ground with scalpels she tried the same with Frost. It didn't go over well. Her partner's stomach made Jane go downstairs to get the report. "You were wearing your black scrubs and had your hair up. I remember thinking that you did look like the Queen of the Dead."

Maura narrowed her eyes at her, "Thanks."

Jane smiled, "But then you opened your mouth."

"What? You had spoken to me before at crime scenes."

"I know, but this was different."

"I was having a bad day."

Jane shrugged, "We all have those."

"But then I saw your hands." Maura reached out and gently traced the scar on the back of Jane's left hand. "You had bled through the bandages."

"I needed practice that day, I was going to be cleared for active duty the next week and I hadn't held a gun in over two months." Jane flexed her hand before curling it around Maura's fingers. "You were the first person I let touch them, I didn't feel like you were judging me."

The blonde shook her head, "Never. I thought you were so brave." She looked at Jane's face in the dim light, "I still do." She brought the hand to her lips and kissed it, hearing Jane's breath catch in her throat. "Thank you."

Jane stared at the TV, absently watching the local forecast for the next week, "For what?" She whispered.

"You saved my life. This past month has been hell for both of us Jane, first Ian, my father, and now Hoyt." She saw Jane cringe at his name. "He is gone. I saw it with my own eyes. I saw you kill him, I saw the doctor pronounce him. But I-I keep having this dream…I'm back there but then it changes. It's snowing and you're there with me-" Maura felt the tears sting her eyes. "God Jane, he could have killed you."

Jane finally turned to look at Maura, "Hey, don't cry. Please." She pulled the blonde to her. "Don't cry Maur, its over. He can't hurt us anymore."

"But, two more seconds Jane and Mason would have killed you. I can't lose you Jane." Maura sobbed into her shirt she felt Jane's hand thread through her hair.

Jane swallowed hard when she felt Maura's nails dig into her skin, everything from when she walked into the room with Hoyt till when Korsak escorted Maura and her out of the room was a blur, a horrifying, cold blur. She remember seeing Hoyt approaching Maura and suddenly it was like someone took over her body. Her blood ran cold and she just reacted with everything she had, she had to kill them, no one touched her Maura. Looked down at the smaller woman in her arms and felt her heart warm. "We're okay Maura. We've survived worse."

Maura took a deep breath a smelled Jane's perfume mixed with her own scent, it calmed her nerves. She concentrated on that smell and her tears began to slow.

"We should try to get some sleep." Jane mumbled into Maura's hair, she looked at the clock, "We have to be to work in less than three hours."

Maura nodded into Jane's shoulder, "I just don't want to have that dream again."

"You won't, not while I'm here."

"It is just so odd, the snow, and torches…why were there torches?" She mumbled, she wanted to analyze the dream out loud but the tug of sleep was becoming too great.

"Just sleep Maura." Jane whispered to her friend. She looked over the blonde head at the nightlight in the corner of the room. Someday soon, neither of them would need the light to scare off Hoyt's ghost. Someday he would be gone forever.

TBC…

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There might be another chapter between now and the fall start. Remember, review makes me write faster


	4. Tumbling Down

Last night's episode chased away some of my writers block. Since the second half of the season started I just haven't been inspired to write. I'm not sure what season three will bring, this is my take on what should happen, but probably won't.

Please review, it really only takes a second and it makes my day. Thanks!

This is not betaed by anyone but me. I wrote it in about 2 hours, please excuse any spelling/grammer mistakes. This one just kinda flowed out of me. Thanks!

….

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Of all weeks for Gabriel Dean to come back into Jane's life this was possibly the worst. All she wanted to do since getting that panicked call from Maura was to stay by her side. She didn't need the distraction of Dean looming over her shoulder every second of the day. Jane watched Maura, slowly luring their suspect in, getting a full confession the wire that she wore under her blouse. Some days Jane wondered if Maura wouldn't be better suited with a badge than with a scalpel. She couldn't wait to get out of her, pick up take out on the way home from the hospital with Maura and crash in front of the TV together.

Suddenly she saw movement out of the corner of her eye, there was Dean, gun drawn approaching them. Damn it, why was he here? "Did you follow me?" She mouthed. He smiled and shrugged. Stopping herself from rolling her eyes she turned back to the scene in front of her, she didn't want him here, it interfered with protocol, this was supposed to go down like a finely oiled machine, and he threw a monkey wrench in it. He wasn't read in what if he… the perp was pulling a gun on Maura; she got ready to move in when-

gun shots, she looked up into the face of Patty Doyle. He just hit their lead suspect. Shit, didn't he trust her enough to know that she would always protect Maura? "FUCK! Doyle!" She bellowed. He looked down at her, his gun still drawn. She trusted him enough to not shoot her, however the person next to her didn't. She heard Dean cock his gun, letting the bullet slide into the chamber, "Dean, NO!"

Too late, she heard Maura's strangled cry as she watched Doyle's body bounce as the bullet tore through his shoulder. He retaliated firing twice, hitting Dean once in the chest and the arm. Everything was quickly turning into a clusterfuck, Doyle raised his gun again, and he was off balance, his mind becoming cluttered with the effects of the shot. She was afraid he would accidently hit someone, she didn't think, just pulled the trigger hitting him in the lower abdomen. Later, when she would think back on this moment she would wonder if she just shot him to make him go away, to stay out of Maura's life forever. She could have tried talking to him, but at that moment he was a loose cannon waving a loaded glock around AND he and just shot a federal agent. Everything happened in slow motion; Dean screaming, Frost yelling orders to Korsak through the radio and Doyle slowly breaking through the burnt out cat walk that he was on before plummeting twenty feet to the hard wooden floor. She watched as Maura scrambled to her feet sprinting towards the spot where Doyle fell.

"Maura!" She started for her, if Doyle died… "Maura!" She ripped her jacket off, she had to apply pressure to his chest, if she didn't he would bleed out. She quickly checked the body, the two bullet holes were gushing blood and the strange angle of Doyle's hips suggested his back was broken. He was losing too much blood.

"Maura, here-"

"No, don't you dare touch him!"

Jane frowned, "Maura I have to-"

"NO! Get away! Haven't you done enough?" Jane felt as though someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on her head she froze at Maura's deadly gaze. In the distance the wail of sirens could be heard, Korsak had called medical.

"Jane?" Frost's voice made her jump. She turned and looked over her shoulder; he was kneeling about twenty feet away in front of Dean, his fingers to his throat. He shook his head, "He's gone."

Jane fell back on her knees; it was getting hard to breath. She looked to her best friend who was sprawled across her father's chest sobbing. Maura had been through so much these past few days. She just wanted to go over and hug her friend and make everything go away. In the back of her mind she found it weird that even though Dean was dead all she cared about was Maura. Maura, whose face just moments before was twisted with such pain it took the breath from Jane's chest.

The next few hours passed in a blur, Maura was pulled from the body and taken to the hospital to be evaluated, the cuts she had sustained in the hit and run had reopened. Jane, Frost, and Korsak were called in for statements and Jane took up the wrenching task of notifying next of kin for Dean. Through it all Jane was numb, as if she was walking through a mist in a trance. Her body went through its functions until almost eight o'clock that night, finally Frost called it quits, "It will all still be here in the morning Jane. Go home, get some sleep."

Torpidly she nodded, shutting down her computer and taking her rumpled jacket from the back of her chair. The last place she wanted to go was home. As she climbed into her car she found herself headed towards Maura's house. She wasn't sure if she would be there or still at the hospital. She figured she would try home first. The living room light was on as Jane pulled into the drive. She fleetingly thought about what she had planned for that night, curled up with her friend eating popcorn. How could such a routine assignment turn so wrong so fast? Getting out of the car she trudged up the walk way, her hand paused on the doorknob. Something in Maura's tone that afternoon made her pause from just opening the door and walking in like she had done a hundred times before. She raised her hand and rapped lightly on the door. A second later she saw Maura's face in the window, she looked a mess. Her face was free of makeup and the dark circles under her eyes were prominent. The curtain was dropped back in place but the door did not open. She waited, still nothing. Knocking again Jane called out to her, "Come on Maur, open up."

Nothing, Jane felt her eyes sting. Finally pulling out her key she opened the front door and cautiously stepped in. The house was dark save for a small lamp on the end table in the living room. Two suitcases sat near the kitchen bar, on the TV was an old The Dick Van Dyke Show rerun, Maura sat on the couch with her back to do the door. "I don't recall saying you could come in." The blonde's voice was raspy, it sounded like she was getting one heck of a cold.

"I-I know. You just…I was worried. I didn't see you back at the station."

"I'm on a leave of absence." Maura had yet to turn around.

"What? Why?"

Maura's back straightened, she slowly turned to face Jane, "WHY?" She growled out. "Why the fuck do you think Jane?" The brunette winched, she had never heard Maura swear, "My mother was almost killed in a hit in run and my supposed best friend just killed my father!" She stood from the couch and slowly encroached on Jane. "And you have the gall to come into MY house uninvited and ask me WHY I didn't come back to the station."

Jane had never in all the years her and Maura had known each other been afraid of her but now, as she took a step back from her friend.

"Maura…"

"No! Answer me something Jane, why did you shoot him? Didn't your boyfriend's bullet do enough damage? You had to finish him off?"

"Maura, he was unsteady, he was pointing his gun at us, he KILLED Dean!"

"Yes, and then you killed him. Why Jane?" Tears started to fall from her already red and puffy eyes. "Why did you have to kill him, an eye for an eye?"

"I-I didn't mean to Maura."

"Bullshit." She whispered angrily wiping at her eyes.

"Maura..." Jane slowly inched forward; she wanted nothing more than to hold her friend.

"No, you don't understand do you? I trusted you! I LOVED YOU! From the very beginning Jane, I loved you. Why couldn't you see that? Why? Why did you have to do this to me? Wasn't sleeping with Dean enough? Or parading around with Casey?" Maura was sobbing now, "Who nursed you back to health after you shot yourself? I did! Who was there when you're parents were divorcing? Who held your head through everything Hoyt put you through? I DID! I gave you EVERYTHING Jane! Hell, your mother even lives in my guesthouse and my guestroom has more of your clothes in it than your apartment does." Maura paused and took a breath. She looked at Jane almost expecting her to say something but Jane's mouth just hung open staring at her with large eyes.

"I-I can't do this anymore Jane. You've turned my life upside down, at first it was wonderful. I've never let anyone in like I did you. But now, I've lost too much. You've taken too much from me."

It was then Jane noticed the boxes that littered the living room, she finally found her voice. "Where are you going?"

"Mother and I are going to London right after the funeral. She will be able to travel by then and she will be more comfortable at her house there anyway."

Jane's head was spinning; nothing was making any sense, "Maura you can't leave."

"Why not? There is nothing holding me here?"

"But…what about-about us?" Jane asked, she felt like she was going to be sick.

"What us? Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't sleep with Dean or don't plan on sleeping with Casey when he comes back. There is no us and there never will be Jane." Maura was crying again now.

"Maura, no please-" Jane stepped forward trying desperately to get close to her best friend.

The blonde lifted her chin and held her hand up, "No. No Jane." She sniffed, "If you ever felt anything for me you will turn around and leave right now. I cannot do this."

"Maura!" She felt panic begin to well up inside of her.

"Damn it Jane! Just get out!"

Jane stopped in her tracks a look of hurt flooding across her face. "I won't give up on you Maura."

"You don't have a choice Jane, you don't have me." Maura walked forward and opened her front door. "Please leave."

With tears streaming down her face Jane took the hardest ten steps of her life. She reached for Maura's hand on the door, "I'm not giving up on you Maura," She managed to squeeze Maura's fingers before they were ripped from her grip.

"Get out." Jane forced herself to step over the thresh hold. She turned back to plead again and the door slammed shut in her face.

…

…

Hey. Did you read it? Please review it. Thanks


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